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A 1000 Words from Black Belt Negotiating™

By Michael Soon Lee, CRS, GRI

How would you like an extra $5,000 or more a year? You can earn this money simply by becoming a better negotiator. If it’s so easy why don’t more people haggle?

Most people in the United States rarely bargain except on rare occasions when making largest purchases like cars and houses because, for us, time is money. We would rather pay a little more to save time haggling over every little item. However, in other countries, like Asia, money is relatively scarce while time is not so zealously guarded. In these places people will negotiate on everything all day long which can result in substantial savings.

Negotiating is like a martial arts contest where power, leverage and timing can make the difference between winning and losing. For instance, a martial artist would never go into a contest without first spying on his opponent to find weaknesses. In the same way, you can gain bargaining power by doing your homework. If you’re buying a diamond ring, for example, find out how long the ring has been on display, the standard profit margin on jewelry and how badly the owner wants to sell it. Finding answers to these questions could save you thousands.

Before engaging in contest a martial artist warms up by stretching. Likewise, a savvy negotiator warms up by building rapport and finding common ground with the other party because people like to do business with people they like. You can talk about hobbies or children before actually discussing the item you want to buy. This is more commonly known as “small talk” but it can win big price reductions. The same rule about developing a relationship before negotiations start also applies if you are a salesperson.

As the tournament progresses, fighters will cautiously probe each other looking for weaknesses. In bargaining this is done by throwing offers onto the table to see how the other party reacts. This tells you the range between the parties. If the reaction to your offer is distain you are much farther apart than if the other party ponders the suggestion seriously. If negotiations are going well you always want to be moving closer to a deal.

Experienced fighters often use guile to lure their opponents into range by pretending a blow has hurt had more effect than it really did. Similarly, a negotiator could pretend to be shocked by an opponent’s offer to get her to come down in price. Visibly showing surprise or hurt is called flinching and it used by master bargainers to get a seller to come in price without giving up anything.

Martial artists are taught to read the body language of their opponents so they can see a blow before it is unleashed. Experienced negotiators can literally read the other party’s mind by watching body language and listening carefully. If a seller says, “My price is $300 but make me an offer” you know they’re willing to come down. Body language can also tell you if they are agreeing or disagreeing with your position.

Fighters are supremely aware of time and try to use it to their advantage by saving as much energy as possible for the last few seconds of a round when they can score points against a tired opponent. Black belt negotiators put their opponents under as much time pressure as possible by setting deadlines. A car buyer might visit the dealership only an hour before a doctor’s appointment so the dealer must give their best offer before the customer leaves forever.
In martial arts as in life there are unfair fighters who will do anything to win so you must protect yourself at all times. Negotiators you must be aware of unfair tactics such as nibbling which is asking for concessions after an agreement has been reached. If this happens to you just remember this blocking technique, “Before you give a concession – get a concession.”

Finally, when a contest ends fighters will bow to each other as a sign of respect as if to say, “You were a worth opponent” which makes both contestants feel good whether they won or lost. Negotiators should also congratulate the other party for having gotten a good deal. Otherwise he might change his mind and renege on the agreement.
Just like becoming an accomplished martial artist, achieving black belt status in negotiating takes practice. Every time you pull out your wallet ask yourself if this is an opportunity to hone your bargaining skills. You can start small by going to garage sales where you can haggle all day and not even spend twenty dollars. When you become comfortable with the process try going to flea markets where the sellers are much more experienced negotiators as they likely attend regularly. Next, you can move up to the biggest purchases like cars, RVs and houses. You can see that working your way up the ranks of negotiators like this takes work to become true black belts.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Michael Soon Lee, MBA, is the author of the new book “Black Belt Negotiating™” (AMACOM Books, 2007), a world class negotiator and martial artist. He has bargained on everything from major real estate purchases to discounts on gas for his car. Michael shows people how to use martial arts secrets to gain leverage in any bargaining situation. His website is www.EthnoConnect.com and his e-mail is: Michael@EthnoConnect.com.

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